如認識 Common Sense 先生──英國的、他鄉的、本地的──者，請同追悼，並把悼文傳送給認識或不認識他的朋友們，蓋如訃文所言，知道 Common Sense 去世的人不多也。
訃文翻譯如下：
今天，我們一起追悼親愛的老朋友 Common Sense (常識先生)，我們共同生活過很多年。
沒有人知道他的確實年齡，因為他的出生紀錄早已在官僚煩瑣程序中不知所蹤了。他為人懷念的，是培育了以下珍貴品德：
──有得失取捨之明
──明天道酬勤之理
──知人生非盡公平
──知有時錯或在己
Common Sense 的理財方針簡單而健全 (量入為出)，目光遠大可靠 (由成年人而不是小孩子管事)。
自從用心良苦而專橫的條例一個接一個出台，他的健康開始惡化。一名六歲男孩因為親吻同學而被控性騷擾；青少年因為午飯後使用了嗽口水而不准上學；一名教師因為申斥一名頑劣學生而被撤職等等報道，難免使他病情每況愈下。
教師做了本屬家長本分卻不去做的事以管束頑劣學生，反而受到家長攻擊後，Common Sense 不得不洩氣了。
當學校要先得到家長同意才可給學生發太陽油或阿斯匹林，而學生若懷孕了要墮胎卻不可通知家長時，他的健康進一步惡化。
到教堂成了一盤生意，罪犯的待遇比受害者還好，Common Sense己生趣索然了。
直至你在自己家裡面對竊賊而不能自衛，反倒被竊賊控告傷人時，Common Sense 就像被人毒打了一頓。
一名女子竟說不知道冒煙的咖啡是燙的，濺一點到腿上，結果馬上就得到大筆金錢以求和解。這時 Common Sense 已覺得生無可戀了。
Common Sense 臨終時，他的雙親 Truth (真理)與 Trust (信任)，妻子Discretion (謹慎)，女兒Responsibility (責任)，和兒子Reason (理性) 守候在旁。.
他還有四名異父/母兄弟在世，各人名為：
我知道我的權利
我馬上就要
這是他人的責任
我是受害者
他的喪禮上，出席者不多，因為迄今很少人知道他離世。
Sob Sob (傷感者)致意
(蕭雪樺譯)
原文：
Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years.
No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:
- Knowing when to come in out of the rain;
- Why the early bird gets the worm;
- Life isn't always fair;
- and maybe it was my fault.
Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies (don't spend more than you can earn) and reliable strategies (adults, not children, are in charge).
His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate; teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch; and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.
Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children.
It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sun lotion or an aspirin to a student; but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.
Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses; and criminals received better treatment than their victims.
Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.
Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap, and was promptly awarded a huge settlement.
Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility, and by his son, Reason.
He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers;
I Know My Rights
I Want It Now
Someone Else Is To Blame
I'm A Victim
Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.
Sob Sob Regards
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这究竟表示什么?原来我们人类最重要的朋友——Common Sense去世了，我们却茫然不知。
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